testing

testing...testing....


my posts shouldn't b automatically uploading to facebook anymore, guess we'll find out if they are still...
or maybe not, i may or may not b hanging out with gnome today, and i have to clean my guinea pigs cages ideally today, but proably tomorrow, and i have a paper.....
oh wow, i need to be doing that right now. im getting off.
bye

fortunato

chinese curse (according to my mom) : May You live in interesting times.

gnome's coolness

gnome did a good job on the template didn't she? yeah gnomeage!

something more than what we're doing

Well, I'm babysitting kids at the church w/Gnomeinator again 2night. {OH CRAP! gnome, i doubt you'll c this b4 2night, but did u want to read that book 'punk rock etiquette.....never mind. ur on face book......}
I don't know what to say that i haven't said b4...


and now i'm messaging gnome and i keep forgetting what i was saying....................
oh here's something not to overly mudane at best i can post about...

I feel like i'm wasteing my life. i just read a book, play drums a bit, play n the computer, do a few odd chores i need to get done such as washing my clothes (lavor la ropa- spanish class messes w/ my head. sorry) and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....i just feel like i keep doing the same thing over and over andover and there's something bigger and greater i'm supposed to be doing. but i'm trapped in this neverending cycle of a mudane exsistance.like one day i'll wake-up and i'll be really old and i will have done anything with my life. i want something more than what i keep doing.
and i don't understand this part, but Jah told me the mudane is nesscary for now.

any thoughts to what He possibly means are helpful.
so i'll keep doing this and wait for the 'for now part' to end.


luv ya all like Jesus

-jaye

lame

sometimes i'm so lame i cry for myself.

no more smiling

Due to the fact i have abused my self appointed smiley/frowny face privilages (9 smileys in the last post!!!!!!!!) i have forfeited the right to use such smileys for a few posts.

chaotic melody

Haven't really written any workable song lyrics lately. :( sad. I have a couple ideas for songs i just can't find the words and i can't seem to make the words i do write work or flow, i end up writing four verses and quiting on it. On the flip side I've been getting random ideas (for the melody of songs me or the other people in zion wrote) at random times for random songs. randomly.:) ok i'm done.:)
I don't know why this is happening, maybe God (Jah=another name for God.:)) just wants me to be working on the melodys. oh yeah, now might be a good time to mention that jah had me and my friends start a band, it's called zion, wich means peace of mind. :)


I baby sat 2day...WHAT IS WITH BOYS AND DISTROYING STUFF????!!!!! i mean, i like to wreck and break and reek general havok as much as the next person (well, maybe a little more) but seriously, there IS aplace where you got 2 draw the line and act like a decent human being. :)
after awhile me and jay (one of my bestest buddies, not me) just kinda' gave up and let them do w/e as long as they weren't being 2 loud and weren't hurting anybody. I played barbies with the little girls and we danced (tobymac.:)) drew and played a game and stuff like that. It was fun, i like baby sitting actually. :) gnomeage was sick wich made me sad.:( she wasn't there 2 help me and jay handel the utter chaos.

say no to the doughnut man

I'm co-babysitting tonight at church with Gnome. I actually like it. I used to not like little kids. they're well be-haved kids for the most part. I told the little girls last week that i'd bring my barbie dolls this week. I put some beanie babies, some play dough (wich i doubt i'm going to let them play with, but i put it in there anyways. whatever, right?) some books such as 'a wrinkle in time' and 'black beauty' (not the type of books i really like, but they're more suited for little kids and i'm not going to have to worry about parents flipping out on me.) some toy story doll characters, my cd wallet, and some crayons. The little kids might love it, or they might drive me to a mental institution..... speaking of going insaine, i need to go throw my hamtaro video in there....i CANNOT WATCH HE DOUGHNUT MAN ONE MORE TIME. I MIGHT GO SERIOUSLY PYCHO IF I HAVE TO WATCH THE HORRIBLE PYCHOTIC MAN AND THOSE SINGING CHILDREN ONE MORE TIME.

that didnt work
...

uh,i like hello kitty.....

breaking poem form

why oh why do i have a sweet little hello kitty template for my blog?
maybe i'll change it... i proably should cause it keeps bothering me. well not exactly bothering just....i dont know....im going to change it....

to all u ppl who block the hallways

going to be late for class
might make it if i run
people walking in front of me
creep by so slowly
want to shove them
third day in a row

all your playtupuses are mine

ok i guess this thing is looking as good as it's going to get.
i have another blog too, zionofjah.wordpress.com
im thinking im going to post over there because i havent actually posted on there yet...
mmm, sleepy, sorry. was taking a nap.
ummm....yeah.
im sorry im going to have to find a way to post without rambling on about things no one cares about. hmm.:)
see ya' have a nice day cause i told you to.:)


-jaye

by the way, im going by zion over there,or zion of jah. so...

ok, i finally changed the template. now i got to get this thing back together again . bleh >:P

simple short version of writing a melody

Steps
Get some lyrics. You will need lyrics for this method of writing a melody.
Think of how you want your song to sound. Is it a fast, frantic song? A slow, sad song? Having a basic idea of how you want the song to sound is crucial in writing the melody.
Each syllable is worth one note. If you listen to a song, you will realize that the singer changes the note on each syllable. Take your lyrics, and look at the first syllable. If you play an instrument like guitar or piano, play a note while looking at that syllable. How does it sound? If you like the way it sounds, write the note above the syllable. Keep doing this.
Once you are done, play the whole piece on guitar or piano. Then, sing what you heard on the guitar. If you are satisfied, you just wrote the melody! If not, find what you don't like in the song and try doing something else.


credit to: http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Melody

"Fallen Prom Queen" by Zion

were the friends you just bought/
worth the real ones that you lost/
for a second did you think they even like you/
and your boyfriend do you think he'll stay true/

chourus: //don't let your composure crack/
they kill cheerleaders for that/
or at least girl's like you/
yeah they kill girls like you//

my aren't your fans getting loud/
you're not worried about them quieting down/
you keep them well pided/
you think you got it made/
//chourusx1//

are you enjoying the limelight/
do you know your coming down tonight/
did you know they took it all away/
it doesn't have to be this way/
//chourusx1//

such a cold look in your eyes/
such an innocent look as you lie/
what a cruel smile/
so pretty all the while/
//chourusx1//

this is your world,your game/
make the others wonder why they came/
all thhose smarts and you forgot/
that outcast is everything your not/
//that outcast was Jah's* daughter//
//chourusx1//

she'll be looking down on you one day/
look she's already on her way/
you're just another fallen prom queen/
'cause that's just history's routine/


*Jah is another name for God,or Jesus

skateboard

long story short. (not mine,mind you):skateboard powns porche, guy who owns porche powns guy who owns skateboard.
end of story;roll credits.


-jaye

just do it

praise God.

the family the prays together stays together

i started praying for my family as INDIVUALS. and for some God given reason,i care more about them.
or do i realize how much i always cared???IDK.
praying for the indivual challenges and struggles....

happiness is overated

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9v4yW9MHPw
'Happiness' by Eleventyseven


Actually happiness is overated. not WRONG,just overated. Think about it; a 'bad' or a 'good' day are all determined by something as flimsy an unimportant as a mood/emotion.
It's not bad to be happy,but when we determine worth or sucsess by happiness,i think it sorta becomes wrong. Why don't we determine worth or sucsess by whether or not we are still in Jesus's will?


-jaye

rough times are necessary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-feOdmmdFw8

'Say This Sooner' by The Almost

Schools going to start up again. (sorry if i jut wrecked your friday by saying that:))
I got my school ID the other day and i was comparing it to my old one for grins. Then today i came into my moms room and noticed she had some photos i gave/lent her a long time ago.
they were a picture of me and this friend i used to have back in grade school,me and my mom on a old school merry-go-round and one of me and my sister in disney princess coustumes. Im not sure exactly when they were taking except that the oldest one was from when we lived in new mexico,and the oldest one was before the fifth grade,not exactly sure when. so i was compareing those to the other more current photos in my room.(i know i know,why do i have pics of myself in my room?im in the pics WITH friends or family,except for these funky ones i took last yearish when we were visting newmexico. i took it in one of those photo booths. but anyways...) and i dont even look the same. you can still tell ts me,but... that made me start thinking about how much God has ggrown me,espeically this year and last...wow. ironically,all this growing took place when he brought me outside of my comfort zone when the risks were much bigger and i KNEW/KNOW i WOULD/WILL fail without God. That's when life got more complicated and He used rough circumstances to make me grow up.i guess my point is,when life gets rough or your going though something hard,remeber that God's going to use this to shape you. it might not be ok right now,but t will be.
keep it real,God bless you all.

-jaye

no worries

God has His hand on the problem. That's not for you to worry about.

waiting paitiently more or less

'In my Father's House there is many rooms. But,the hardest room is the waiting room.'

-uncle Don


-jaye

If We

If We were never told that we couldn't,
that We were too young,
to emotionally unstable,
to headstrong,
to shy,
to little,
or just not enough,
if We were never told by anyone but God that we couldn't or would fail...
How much more could we live for?


-jaye

What Is My Life for?

So I watched this movie ('Amazing Grace'-it's about the guy who wrote that hymn)and through the whole thing God was talking to me.
The movie is about this guy who got slavery to be outlawed. He worked most of his life because God put a burden on his heart for the slaves. He cried alot,he worked and donated most of his life and youth to this life mission from God. It's like the missionary who came home for awhile,then said he had to leave because he still saw the smoke from a thousand villages when he closed his eyes.
I've felt burden for the lost since i got saved;more specifically i feel burden for the people who have entangled themselves in sins and are so hurt and feel so alone and unloved. The people who cut themselves,the people who are sucidale,the poepl who are addicted to porn,or addicted to drugs,who drink to numb themselves,the people who are anrgy constantly and dont know why...i'm burden for anyone who hurts,or has hurt like i do.

And now, now,I've asked God to show me what to do about this. What can i do that will help these people?

I still need to pray about it some more,but I believe that a song can have power.
Music effects people in ways we still don't understand. They can make you a little sad,or depressed to the point of sucide,they can cheer you up a bit, or God can use them to save your life.
I've know from a experiance,our music effects us deeply so we have to be extremely careful that what we listen to is Godly.
i believe that if God wants to,He can give me the words to write a song that will change the world or someones life. He could use me to give someone who's desperate enough to take their life,some hope.
So,pray for me, and feel free to talk to me or ignore me.:)

-jaye

How dumb i really am

So i'm trying to(with Jesus's help of course) work through my problem with not having heroes and not looking for/rejecting the wisdom of the older generations.
I was reading my Bible last night when God (loveingly) nailed me~Proverbs 15:12 A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, Nor will he go to the wise. ~OWCH!that is so me right now.i dont like getting rebuked and i refuse to go to the wise. Alright. I'll go the wise,God.:)

So i got some books from the library today. God brought me and some of my amazing frienmly (frienmly=agroup of amazing Godly friends who are also brothers and sisters in the Lord.)to the really sweet thing called the Rebelution. Well God really spoke to every one of us through this conference and one of the thinigs we're going to do is start reading GREAT books.
not good books,but GREAT books;books that not only do no harm but do good instead.
well i went to the lirary and i realized i proably should have printed out the book list on the rebelution for starters,and that im going to have to go to the wise no matter how great the book i got was.
i ended up with some poetry books,a book on George Washington,and a few books by Meleody Carlson (who has aa tendency to be an amazing Godly woman). But one of my more interesting books is 'The Oxford Dictionary of Qoutations'. Like the name suggests,it conatins lots of qoutes from people. alot of it goes over my head and some uses big words that obscure the meaning for my little mind.[i can just hear gnome goin"IM LITTLE!!"while pushing her hands down on her forhead as she shrinks away:)]However,what i did get was really smart.(some was just funny too)like-"Drastic measures is Latin for a whopping." -F.Anstey
or
"Ever tried.Ever failed.No matter. Try again.Fail better"-Samuel Beckett

i feel really dumb,or maybe im just realizeing how dumb i already was.at any rate i hink im at least a wee-bit more teachable now.:)

peace,
-jaye
-NOTE TO GNOME MENT TO BE READ BY ONLY GNOME AND IGNORED BY EVERYBODY ELSE:-
rember when i told you about that not so minor problem i was re-dealing with?It's over now,i think i'm healed finally.but keep praying for me.please n thanx u:)

'It Can't Rain Everyday' by P.O.D.

lyricsThis little one tries as hard as she can, do anything just so she can fit in.She wants a friend so bad, she'll do whatever they tell her.To make them smile she would misbehave, but all the while they would laugh in her face.She begins to cry, because she thought that they liked her.Even though you feel all alone,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.Your sunshine may be gone, I know,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.He works hard everyday of his life, for his son on the way and his beautiful wife.But today he got a call from his job, they got something to tell him.They laid him off, now he's out on the street. He's gotta do what it takes so his family can eat.Can't even look at his wife, cause he feels like he failed them.Even though you feel all alone,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.Your sunshine may be gone, but I know,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.It don't rain, It don't rain forever.It can't rain, It don't rain forever.Reign down, reign down, reign down.So let it reign down, reign down, reign down,Reign down on me now.The young lady's been lost for awhile, but that's ok now she's having a child.She finally got what she wants, she's got someone who loves her.But this morning she woke up in pain, nobody had to tell her cause she knew right away.So she started to cry because she won't be a mother.Even though you feel all alone,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.Your sunshine may be gone, but I know,It Can't Rain Everyday, it don't rain forever.It don't rain, It don't rain forever.It can't rain, It don't rain forever.Reign down, reign down, reign down.Reign down on me.Reign down, reign down, reign down.

'Going in Blind' by P.O.D.

One Day... Some day..This life *not* like you wanted it.His eyes I can see again, I need you here.In your mind nobody's listening.It's alright not to feel again,Just breath again...Time after time I walk the fine line,But something keeps bringing me back.Time after time I'm going in blind,I don't know which way I need to go...Feels like your world is caving inAnd I cry, failing to understand,I wish I can...It's alright if you're missing him,In his eyes you can live again,Free within!Time after time I walk the fine line,But something keeps bringing me back.Time after time I'm going in blind,I don't know which way I need to go!Time after time I walk the fine line,But something keeps bringing me back.Time after time I can't see the signs,I don't know which way I need to go!Though all these roads lead me back to you...I don't know which way I need to go.One day Some day!Time after time I walk the fine line,But something keeps bringing me back.Time after time I'm going in blind,I don't know WHICH way I need to go!Time after time I walk the fine line,But something keeps bringing me back.Time after time I can't see the signsto all these roads leading me back to you,One day....

psalms 147:3 and 'it falls apart' by thousand foot krutch

Psa 147:3
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=elIspF-HS-c



this has been yet another sucessful dodge by jay to put anything that means anything in here

Well,i guess im going to be real from now on.brace urselfs.:)

this is my favorite song

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xezf68j9kBs






'Will You Love Me Tomorrow' by P.O.D.

take a look at this

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CzJAU0hxZtE

failure to excommunicate

you notice how diffrent networking and gameing sites tend to develope their own culuture with their own rules and customes? hang around on youtube,subeta,barbie(!!!!sorry sparkles,had to go there)facebook,blogger...w/e,after awhile youll nnotice all this weird culture stuff thats been developoed.
well now that im done confusing you w/my incomphrehensiable sentences and terrible spelling...ill go i guess.

-jaye

guitars and cds

i wonder if i can learn guitar just by JUST DOING IT.not with lessons oor a book or whatever.
i hear people have learned to play guitar by just picking it up by themselves. maybe its just the way they learn...or???itd be interesting to try although i doubt ill really practice every day. i love the drums so i can practice everyday.(although im so lazy,that hat can b a struggle)but the guitar,if i pick it up,im proably going to be one of those people who can play a little,but thats not really what they play.maybe ill teach baby (<---friends nickname.as in baby sister.no were not biologically related)drums for the heck of it and she can teach me a little of guitar for the heck of it. dont even know why i want to learn guitar come to think of it. i guess im trying to take advantge of the fact Jesus Christ has blessed me so i can learn diffrent instruments if i wanted to. you rember when you were telling me to take advantge of the oppurtunitys i have,snowfire?i do,and so i guess you really got me thinking about that so im trying to do that.thanks:)

i have a kinda funny story to tell,i feel really bad about it though.:(
ok,im learning sound at my church,so i do sound for the 'growing in grace' study we have on sunday nights. so the sermon was over and i was playing with the laser pointer in the sound booth while i was burning discs for people. and i started shining the laser on these little kids. and they would laugh and run from the laser,just goofing off. and eventually the little kids see my little sister come up into the sound booth with me and so they decided that they wanted to come into the sound booth and hang out to. which was cool,because its not like they were messing with anything. they were really good actually and didnt touch and buttons or start flipping levers and stuff. i knew these kids sorta,they were one of my guy friends from youth groups sibling.
anyways.im talking to they kids and messing around,and then someone comes up and asks me for a copy of the sermon. so i start up the machine and start burning copys(thats really fun to do actually). and these sweet little kids (who werent even fighting or anything. they were really good little kids:)) just look at me with these wide eyes and ask if they can have one too. and so of course i burn them each a copy of what that guy had asked for .(so there's three kids,and each ius given to diffrent cds each. one from that night and one from that morning,wich i didnt get to hear cause i was in youth group.) honestly,i didnt really think they'd listen to the cds. but i thought maybe they would and theyd learn something.plus it was just fun sitting in the sound booth while they took turs loading up the trays with blank cds and hitting enter and stuff like that. so i burn them each a disc and we go home and continue life.
and then tuesday,a few days later.....
we were at youth group and we were talking about dating and all that junk. when steven (the older brother of the kids i'd given cd's to)says he has a funny story to tell.
apparently two of his little brothers had decided to read through Genesis. the eventually reached a part where one of the guys (forgive me,i dont rember his name) had 'let his seed fall on the ground' (youd just have to read the story) and so they asked their dad what that ment. and of course his dad didnt tell them i think. but then he goes on to say that they had got a hold of one of skip's(skip is our pastor)sermons on CD and it turns out that it was all about that and homosexuality.
O_O
i asked if they gotten the cd around sunday and apparently they had.(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

on the upside it was a Godly perspective on the whole thing.


i still feel bad.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BUtL1X0l_xg <---not music for once. its how to trip your friend on a skatboard. the ppl on there seem.......interesting?????well i think theyre funny at any rate.

the secret life of squirrels and wich songs r ok

i shouldnt be on the internet right now,i need to take a a bath and get dressed so i can go swim suite shopping w/mom and everybody else.
but im lazy.
but anyways i wanted to ask you guys,what do you guys use to determine whether a not a songs ok to listen to?not as in is it actually a good song,but what moral requirments do you have?this applys to the bands to.
its been bugging me lately-not about your guys's choices,my choices,k?:)


what is the secret life of the average squirrel anyways?

wrong email address guys

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW....
i just went through my old email address looking at my mail,and wow...
i had like 56 messages!!!!they were mostly forwards and account on different places,but woww......i deleted alot of the forwards.

today is my sister birthday. 2'nd oldest. se got a cell phone so far.

addictions and salvation

It was awesome seeing steven and his family get baptised yesterday.haha,i was getting all teary eyed. but i cry during disney movies so...but it was still really awesome.

later that day,though,it was kinda sobering.
you know how my dad does that sun night daniel study thingy? well we were at the church that night and me and hope were playing outside after it was over. when some guy comes riding through the parking lot on his bike. he smiled and said hi and then got off his bike.
i was freaking out and trying not to show it. so i asked hope if she wanted to go inside.and hope ( still smiling but i knew her well enough to know she was freaking out) says,"uh yeah". so we start walking up the walk to the doors. but then he starts to FOLLOW US. and im thinking he some rapist by this time, but im still trying to be cordial. (ever have to keep walking casually when you really want to run?its no fun.very frusturating actually) he mumbles something about wanting to talk to a pastor. and im as gullible as barbie according to gnomey:)i agree thou. so im say "sure hang on ill get him. hey dad!some one wants to see you." (i know my dads not the pastor,but the pastor wasnt there and i really didnt want to be around this guy too much longer.not that im prejudiced or something,but our church is right smack dab in the middle of the glory house[half way house from prision] juvenile detention center, and alcholics anmous.so i was seriously freaked out.)
so my dad comes back after talking to him and after he managed to scrounch him two bucks.
we're not dumb. he was tweaking bad,but didnt want him get violent;so we just gave him money and watched him leave. honestly,i dont think we should of given him any money.i wished there was something we could do when people wander in to ask for money.
like have some of the older guys who used to have drug addictions but got saved and have them talk to him or something like that.





-jaye

kitchen slavery

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GH-nwDItA58

SCHOOL'S OUT!

could know everything about you,still know nuthing at all

i feel sorry for my virtual pets.
theycan have pets and when i find a cooler pet to give them,i take their old one away and give it to them or another one to eat.if its edible(and they usually are).
and i totally agree w/the bumper sticker you put on my profile,Jade. life WAS simpler when boys had cooties. but,hey,things change i guess.
i wanna make a music video to P.O.D.'s song 'hollywood'.i just got this whole thing planned out in my head so in thought it be kinda cool to make it. maybe itll turn out really lame thou,i dont know.
if you guys wanna help me with that lemme know cause id definitly give you a part in it.
and my blog has this little thing at the bottom where you rate my post...just dont tell me im getting graded on this cause....well im flunking i guess.
here's a liink to my actual blog
http://jaylogan.blogspot.com

and stuff nstuff

1 week and 4days till schools out.
not that im counting or anything.....:P









and i can never think of anything else to say but this:playing hide in seek in walmart is fun.hard on your legs.
bruises everywhere,but that might b from me and gnome hitting each other:)


-jaye

ok,i found this awesome passage in the Bible for jade.i book marked it,remind me when u c me next ,jade,k?k
well...............................................................
i don't know

guess wich song is on gnome's ipod

Guess what.at my school they have a club for anticonformists. the sign reads something along the lines of:r u sick of how everyones joining clubs and labeling themselves?join the anticonformists club.
so we basically have a club for anticonformists to conform to anitcomformism.
i dont think joinging a school club is conformism,its just finding something you like and going somewhere where you can do that.i dont have any problem w/it.im not IN any of the clubs. when the bell rings,im outta there.i ant sticking around,i wanna go home and do...this....
heres a bunch (a "BUNCH",as in more than one.IDk either)of songs with 'its over in the title...cause i can.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=AiMu9Sb3PKE (4th avenue jones 'its over now')


http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z5Ujg2TB0k8 m(this is on gnome's ipod.guess.:))

are we still doing picknick tomorrow?cause...look outside.the weather's NOT cooperating (or however you spell that lame word):)

by the way,i turned my pet(a girl named wandermumur) back into an icile dog thing(celinox).
i was complainging cause i turned it into a feaky bug thing yesterday and was complainging about it right before youguys showed up in my house with all those swords sithes (is that how you spell it?) and kidnapped me?that was fun.:)
http://subeta.org <---thats my pet site:)

this guy(i assume the person is male) keeps sending me spam mail.its one of those scam ones.its really annoying,how'd he get my address anyways?well w/e.i keep deleting his emails.i should forward them to this guy who likes to scam the scam artists.he doesnt take their money,just their pride and time.lol

So,in case you cant tell,im ungrounded from my cyber world.(cyber world?that was slightly pathetic...)so yes,i no longer have excuses for not answering or responding to you.so yeah,anyways...idk

well,dad's leting me on the computer for today,tomorrow....doubt it.still dont know how often im going to be cyberly around,but w/e.so i apologize if i didnt answer back or w/e.im trying to respond and ewverything,but its hard when im not on everyday,so yeah...

hiatus

ok,so im going to make this quick-sisters got in big fight when i wasnt home,computer was seen as the source of said conflict,and now computer is on hiatus for an undetermined amount of time,maybe forever.im at the library,so dont get mad at me if i dont respond to your comment or messages for forever,k?

-jaye

im addicted to online virtual pet sites....

its nerd week on the five awesome girl channel,and ive discovered im a huge nerd. and then i discovered that i never really bought into the label thing anyways,and consequently i dont care that i am what u would consider a nerd.
i think.
i assume.
actually i dont really know whos reading this so....
ok im done.
have a nice wee/weekend,pray 4 me if u's think about it.

-jaye

dear diary,

I keep hearing(or reading)about ppl who address their diarys to someone. those people are usually a best/close friend or someone they were close to someone who they dont ever see or its someone they made up entirely. You'd have to(in my opion)be pretty close to someone to address your diary to them.(no duh,right?)Ocassionaly people will write letters to ppl that they never had any intention of mailing,like an angry rant railing at the person,or even a love letter. i read a manga novel where the main character had been pawned off on her grandmother by her mother.shehad two foster brothers who lived with her a well.she was closer to one in praticular and when her mom came back and took her away she would write him letters.eventually he stopped writing back(long story why)and she eventually stopped writing letters that never were answered.or rather,she stopped sending them.she'd keep writing them,but she'd keep them in a notebook and they were never sent out to her brother.sad,huh?dont worry,its shojo,itll have a happy ending :P :)
i've wrote a few angry letters i had no intention of mailing to people,i think i distroyed those.its kinda funny to come across them years later.of course you feel dumb,but its funny. i dont know if other people do this but my current(well..one of them)diary is just poem type dealies,they still tell about my day a little,but mostly their limited to emotion type things. i leave it lying around my room cause i avoided enough specifics and other 'incriminateing' things to the point where i dont really care if people read it.they may read it but they have yet to understand it. and then theirs ye ol' traditional write about my life/day type diary.u know about those thou i assume.
some people vblog or blog their diary too.

uhh...this isn't my diary,FYI.:)sorry


or even drawings can be part of a diary,like those kind that everything symbolizes something?(minds blank)
i guess a diary is really just anything you do to express yourself.it doesnt always have to be private.


jazz concert mannaw.
prayers r defintily appreciated.
ALOT

-jaye

meaningless

If im not answering your guys emails or anything,its proably cause your emailing me at:ragtagheros@sio.midco.net.try emailing me at:dontwannalosemysoul@yahoo.com.


My littlest sister finally got her own room.now all us kids have our own room,wich is great cause i love my sisters,but we still fight.
it's aturday!YEAH!im going to be happy when its summer,kinda sick of school.

-jaye

last words and pink unicorns

You now how i was freaking out about the test today?turns out its next week.:(
AND to add insult to injury,it's my fault i was freaking out.*rollseyes*

thanks courtney for showing me how to play the timpani by the way.ur the best.

Eleventyseven is an awesome boy band,their mascot is a pink unicorn,how can you not like someone who's mascot is a pink unicorn?their songs are pop punk.check em out---->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT0xNyzIbcU
well i dont have anything else to say.so...have fun.drop me a line if you need prayer or wanna talk or w/e,k?


-jaye

headstrong

Two of the ppls on the channels i watch all the time are getting real and spitting in the face of the ol' staus qoute. kinda refreshing actually.i need to stop putting smiley faces on everything,im starting to fine them popping up everywhere on my writing. i can imagine me writing some BIG end of the semester big points term paper about some serious subject(none comes to mind)only to put a big fat smiley face on the end and getting docked points.and even worse,not realizing i did it. [it's one thing if you KNOW it's there cause you PUT it there.but if you didnt really think about it,you just did it without thinkning...that would seriously stink.but what good is a letter someone slapped on you?it isn't.im sorry,it doesn't mean much in the end:/]
speaking a lot to due over nothing,there's this bif scary blood dripping fanged test in music class. have i study?not sufficently. am i scared.yeah. when is it?oh,you know...
tomorrow.
on the flip side it's not like i've passed most of the scales test this year.
im trying really hard not to flip out and start ranting.
but you know what,i've talked to God and basically what He had to say(summarized and re-phrased,you were warned). the rich man and the poor man die the same way.in the end,men (and girls.) are men,we die the same. if you held a gun up to my head(please DONT.that would get messy and its a little frowned apoun by the law) and a gun up to mozart's head,we die the same way.in the end their is no difference between me and mozart.we're just flesh,we both fall victim to the same things and we both die...without being graded on it might i add.
in the end,the only thing thats gonna matter or count for anything is if we knew God and what we did with that knowledge. we're going to be judged the same way and it's not going to matter whether i dropped out or if i had all a's and was a mini einstien.


band clas....HOW DO I KEEP MANAGING TO GET MYSELF INTO THESE SITUATIONS???????????????!!
no.i know how,i didnt ask God about it,i just kinda clapped my hands over my ears spiritually and signed myself up.
kinda like 23 faith(remeber that band me n my buds had way back when?it was years ago but w/e not the point),i just rushed head first into the fire. and now im paying for it. *grits teeth*im REAlly paying for it.my word. what's wrong w/me?AGHHHH.

w/e.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVO_acxSCKg
God bless you all!:)




-jaaaYE

insainty is simply defined as continueing to do something that does not work.
aren't we all insaine then?

'better than drugs'-skillet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcAInOrk_JA

strep throat germ cookies and other fun ways to die

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s50cw-anEw (<---music-john rueben 'i have no opion')


a list of three youtube channels to check out

1. five awesome guys
2. five awesome girls
3. xnatko

pplwill put anything on youtube.its pretty sad...

a moment of silence for those poor ppl.

.........................................................................................

OH!you know what i've noticed?(thanks to utube.)

i swear,(no thats not it.i dont.its just an expression)if you have a british accent,you could proably tell me anything.ANYTHING.you could tell me im adopted and i would proably believe you.i don't know why!its like some weird thing in my brain that makes me automatically want to believe what you said!.

and now i will stop wasteing your time and go get dressed in something other than my PJ's.and shower...ill defintiyl shower.*makes face*and i clean my room...ok ok!im going.byez:)

-jaye

looking deadish and things ppl say about me:)

when i walked into my art class today,their was a drawing on the board,two actually. one was of a bunny (cartoony style) with really cute ears and eyes.....and ginormous bloody fangs with a dead baby baby chick in its mouth...
it was kinda disturbing....but well done(as far as drawing and idea goes)so i was stareing at it when we we're in the room and getting weirded out by its disturbing ness.the second was of a girl looking cold and tired and deadish and stareing blankly straight ahead looking quite expressionlessly.kinda creepy cause she looked so dead...(>_<)
it was my self portrait from last year.(its technically last year now)people know its me when they look at it,but i think i look deadish if not dead in that picture.i wonder if thats what im going to look like when i die.
((O_O))
where did that come from????moveing on.

a funny vblog clip.(not mine as you can tell:))
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RNlKKqexEjg

a list!(cause i can)

funny things ppl have said about me

1. no, i like ppl who jump out of dark corners and scare ppl they dont know.
2. she answers everything in one word answers.its always,yup,nope,or IDK.
3. (talking to me)JAYE!(turns to girl screaming)well i see you've met my friend jaye.
4. when i first met you i thought you were weird.(my best friend said that)
5. the first thing you ever said to me was"uhhhh...hi?"

thats all off the top of my head.bye for now:)

-jaye

matt 19:26
awesome verse.read it:)

yeah i should write a post.ummm....lemme think what do i want everyone i know and then some to be able to read if they want o...........O_O uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......


school was ok today. we had career day and that was really lame. im not expecting to live out the day,much less live long enough to actually have a 'career'. and you know what?what im gonna be in when i grow up isnt my problem.(i know i sound like a brat) but it something i had to give up to God,and m not worried about it. so ill b what ill b if i live that long.

trying to stay outside my shell

Luke 6:30
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

this was the verse on my facebook page today. It came at the right time.:)
anyways,
have you ever been expecting something bad will happen? not like wanting it too,but just this nagging feeling that it will happen,ever felt that? its almost a relief when it does happen though,in he sense their's an end to the anticiapation. then youre sad,but youre constantly liveing under the gun,waiting for bullet.its alreay happened. its kinda confuseing though cause then youre not sure if youre happy or sad it happened.
i wish my monsters were ssomething i could pychially hurt so theyd leave me alone. fist fighting is what helped screwed me up in the first place though.(before i was saved i mean)on a much less depressing note-i made a chocolate cake today.:) its kinda (ok ok,IT IS)disfunctional looking.im sure my om either made or will make a post on her blog makeing fun of my cake hahah


pray for one of my friends(all of them,actually,just im thinking of someone in particular)its hard waiting for them to grow up spiritually.

im getting on my blogs and updateing everything. sorry ive been..idk where ive been.w/e im updateing my bebo now.so idk

apparently,wearing my moms hoodie makes me look gangster????

beeen neglecting this blog lately. sorry.:( been on facebook.no excuse i know im sorry.
today was ok. something interesting happened....i think...OH YEAH!actually it wasnt all that interesting. i just thought we were haveing band concert this morning,WAY early this morning.so i dragged myself out of bed super early and ended up sitting around and wasteing my time because,i guess i wasnt listening when our eacher told u when we b meeting.cause we didnt have band practice AT ALL.not too happy about getting up early to sit around,but ya know. w/e
ppl post the weirdest things on youtube,eating a cinnamon bun,eating play dough,talking about w/e.....looks like fun,but if i made a video blog....WHAT WOULD I SAY?????i cant even think of anything worth reading to write in here half the time.*rollseyes*
its kinda fun listening to their accents though..dood,i totally stink at this..you should do one.IDK y.cause you can,hey,maybe youd b totally good at it.IDK

sabrina 153 get ngo drop out now and watch it grow

How is it
that i've known you since i was seven
You know about my past
You know all my secrets
we were best friends
and im sitting right next to you
and i dont know you anymore


your not

the person ive cried with
the person ive laughed and screamed at
the person ive grown up with
the person who shares all the memories and secrets



I dont
want you to be like this
to go down in flames like this
to walk away from God like this
to forget my name
to not know me at all
want you to leave



whats it going to take
for you to walk back to God
for you to be my best friend again
for you to leave all that behind
for you to run towardsthe light again
for you to learn to live by loseing your life


you sold me out for a bottle of vodka,do you even know that?do you even care?do you regret it?

Jesus,teach me to forgive and forget.

can you feel your heartbeat raceing,can you taste the fear in her sweat?-underoath

im watching these videos of these kids on youtube,not just random(ok actually i take that back,its kinda random.)but yeah they have bands or r just singing....theyre pretty okish if you ask me.not amazingbut not have bad actually.IDKvery few people are actually good (likeGOOD GOOD)at screaming though.



dont ever lean way over the mic and headbang while screaming,kinda looks like suerte trying to puke up on my carpet.so u know...
...its kinda funny to see people waering random things on their heads like...a wrestling helemt i think that is...*shrugs* dont ask me i didnt make the video or coordnaite his outfit.:)c ya

my name

He has my name,my real name.

bite my tounge

better start this one off with a prayer.
~Dear God,give me the strength to bite my tounge. Few things are worse than mis-representing you. As a cristian im called to represent you to the world and i cant do this on my own,i need your help God.please come and rescue me and set guards all around me and in my mind and mouth and anywhere else im gonna need them.thank You,i love You amen~

obviously,i got some stuff on my mind,but there's a time and a place for everything....and now's not it i dont think . Wrote some more song lyrics,but they're upstairs in my room and i dont wanna go get them.besides im not sure if i like them or want to keep them or post them for anyone to read.(no offense:)) Pray for my friends while im thinking about it....they're all....they need Jesus like everybody else. Their attempts to deal with life in general just emphasies that. its hard to watch. I used to be like that (and when you think about it,its almost funny cause they're putting me through exactly what i must'vs put my family parents and friends through. and i'd like to take this time to publically apologize for that:sorry,i don't have any excuse for what i dd,sorry.:( ]
but Jesus saved me when i was past fixing (but not for Him obviously) and everyone had given up on me and i had even given up on myself. So im gonna spiritually run away from the monster i was and run into God's arms.
ok ok im done writing.i know you proably just scanned this instead of reading anyways so...whatevea:)

jaye

What should i say? I don't have anything i want to say that can be put in a way you'd understand.(<---see?)

just letting you know im not hi.im tired

today is like breakup day.
i know of at least three romantic realationships that r no more.why today?IDK.
i was so tired today....hahah.i was really REALLY slow.like more than usual,ppl were talking to me and i had no idea what they were saying half the time.it was pathetic. and i was babbling and i wasnt even sure what i was saying.and then my friend anna asked me if i was hi.(NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
seriously,stop and think about the ridiclous and almost entertaining stuff that comes out your mouthes guys!SHEESH.
luv ya all.:)you crack me up:) XD
yup.for the record my music got dissed today.but God used it to start a big long discussion about my faith.and that was kooler than a hundred fablous songs ever could be.i think my art teacher hates it when i bring up faith or anyone else does,but hey freedom of speech.id b doing it if it got/get's me killed anyways....


-jaye

music with meaning

so my friends decided that i have/am

• lead a sheltered/deprived life
• taste in music is crappy
• am musically to secluded(i think thats the word i mean...)

EXCUSE ME FOR HAVEING MORALS :) :P

its kinda funny though.they hate every thing i like,(or they havent heard it) and i feel the same way about their music.
im gonna bring my MP3 tomorrow and introduce them to some music .


-jaye

P.O.D. DA WORSHIP TEAM

my friends at school are so weird.(you dont even want to know.)


but anyways on a diffrent subject...
did you know P.O.D. are a worship team at the church they go to? KOOL!!!!!!!!!
been all...well,God's changing me to make me useful for what He wants to do with me.it's interesting.:)(FYI,i wasnt being sarcastic)


and so...yeah.see ya.

-jaye

foaming it in(take a guess)

hi and bye

othe current state of my life(not in entirty,just the parts i wanna babble about):

• My childhood friend is moveing away within two weeks(wich i think im unconciously in denile about,cause it just doesnt make sense to me yet.)


• i retired my first drumsticks ever


• i made brownies

ok,so the last one doesnt have anything to do with anything,sue me. but the thing is,i just got this feeling that something really big is gonna happen or start up. like,this is gonna effect my life from this point onwards.

and these have got to be about the coolest drumsticks i ever seen...drumsticks need to come in more colors and designes ya know?

>^..^< (<---kitty)

bye

-jaye

elipse!sorry i didnt add you back on flixster,i cant get into my account no matter what i do but i keep getting the emails so yeah...sorry about that.:)


-jaye

psalm 27:13-14(<----look it up:))

don't love the things of this world
its already pasing,dieing,fadeing.

set your eyes on Christ,He's the only thing that's gonna last,the only thing thats forever.
parents fade,friends die,loved ones leave....but god's still there holding you together when you shouldve broken long ago.
music stops,money loses its worth,clothes get worn out.....everything fails.
except my JESUS.
so ill hold onto HIM tighter than i hold everything else.


-JESUS's willing slave

barbies r amazing...dont really know why,just r...
(i just wokeup,cut me some slack!)
i want to rember my dreams,i hate going to sleep and not rembering what i dreamed.you always dream,unless ur dead,so why cant i rember?so frusturating.
i feel like i have all this stufff i should be able to rember but i cant.
my head hurts.hhaha
i need to go sleep some more...maybe l8er.


byez

-jaye

TRADGEDY AND BARBIE

Waffles told me a horrible tragic story today.it's really awful,so proceed with caution:boys dont actually grow out of it for quite awhile.theres even guys who r like that are 25.
HOW DEPRESSING.
(we were talking about how som e of my guy friends from school were snorting flour in cooking class.i watched them take it out so i KNOW its flour)
i really shouldnt be talking though,i have my moments when mybrain temporarily goes on vacation.XD haha


OH!my barbie obsession lives on!hahah
i got some acrylic paint today. i gonna paint some of my dolls,no,dont worry.nuthing as scary as that one doll i did....kinda like this:http://www.liquidsunshineonline.com/Gallery.html

pretty cool,huh?
yeah,i need a life i know i know.

God bless!

-jaye

learning how to hope

you know matt thessian from reliant k?well there's this guy in my general foods class that looks like him.its kinda distracting.(NO I DONT LIKE HIM)
i've thought about telling him he looks like a guy from reliant k who looks like frodo,but,some how i dont think he take that very well...
oh,bleach pens are wonderful things.i drew some angel wings on a shirt with one. i like it. i've always wanted to fly,air planes aree a let down in my opion,but hey,w/e.


pray for me,GOD's working something out in my ife and im haveing troube being patient and waiting. im learning how to hope.i must of been innocent enough to know how to once,but i got to bitter and jaded from the past. you know my testimoney?well,the past is still being erased.we'll leave it at that.you can ask about it,i just not gonna go on about it here.well,GOD bless ya all!may you grow Spiritually.



-jaye

written heartbeat

were dieing
concience sleeps
wake up
wake up
not long now
how did we get
desenstized
spiritually
were dieing
do you even
kno___

jaye is...

learning to breathe

haven't been on lately,lifes been...crazy?no...kinda confuseing maybe.i dont know how to describe it.sorry i haven't been on lately,its just ive been on facebook and theirs stuff going on there....i still love ya all im still blogging.its...i dont know.
heehe,dont know a lot today i guess.:) :/ there's been a lot on my mind but i cant really talk about it cause..ya know,the ever parnoid person in my head telling me that someone i know might be reading this.hehe.

its snowing...again.i ,ike snow though. evrything looks so pretty.im sad because all my friends are so sad,my unsaved friends at school.(well,most of them are from school.:/)they struggle so much and they dont have anyone to run to cause they aint walking with Jesus.no one to help them through. i feel like a mom because im so worried about my friends and im always interceeding for hem and trying to look out and watch over them. i feel like im constanly yo yoing from age three to age 90+.sad.

-jay

i figured out how to record stuff-ound-on the camera but i cant figure out how to get it on to the computer.:[

jaye has a facebook

i think the thing resolved itself.that i last wrote about yesterday?


-jaye

beautiful let down

what's a really gentel way to let a guy know you dont like him like that?
cause there's this guy at school,andd i dont like him the way he likes me...and i dont wanna compromise my witness as a christian cause im repping Christ...but i dont...*shakes head*.
any suggestions r helpful.

-jaye

life:::love

Deu 30:20
That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, [and] that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he [is] thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them. our wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

sick at hart

today i got a glimsp of things through YOUR eyes today,LORD.
im sick at heart and broken by what i've seen.
don't let me be like this,at all or anymore.
im so sorry for what we've done,what i've been and what i am.im sorry.
i love YOU.
amen

'definitly maybe' by FMstatic

this songs tight.well i like it at least.

- jaye

need to be paitent

Some of tori (my sister) and my mutual friends play guitar including tori.
why is that significant? Well,i play drums and have a drum kit (thats technically not mine but whatever),my friends(and tori) play guitar and have guitars,my best friend sings and i have an amp and a microphone.
I'm not about to form a band with out jesus's ok,but we can goof off and jam right? That's ok isn't it? I hope so. I kinda did that (form band without God's ok) a while back and that did NOT work out well AT ALL. I really want to make another band but im not going to do anything God's not with me on. so i just need to rember to patient.
My mom got a camera that records videos and sound and my MP3 i got for Christmas records sound but i dont know how to work my MP3...yet.my point is hopefully i can record something if were worth listening to and post it and send elipse some stuff.i feel bad,he's been waiting forever to hear some of my stuff but i've been unable to send it to him. i don't want to commit myself to anything in this area yet,but i'll talk to God and we'll see.


-jaye

don't be like this

we shove him,and slap him. and isolate, and drive him to the edge.rageing against all wise judgement and that beautiful still quiet voice of God Almighty.then we stand him up at the edge and walk away leaveing them standing there looking into the pit. we walk away when theyre in danger and need us most. and while we walk away,we wonder if they jumped. but we never really care.






-jaye

mabe im just paronoid but...

i wish i could write what's really on my mind,but i can't because i dont know who knows me that reads this.so...silence for now.I don't know what else to say,i have a headache because i've been listening to some lamo music i didn't know i owned?and that now i feel like i have blood pouring out my ears because it was so...well i didn't like it let's just go with that,k?

-jaye

'never ment to fall in love' by me

what is wrong with us,
we want love but settle for lust,
that we say i love you when it means nothing,
but never when it could mean everything,
we run away from what we seek,
and find another lover for the week,
we watch the one person from a distance,
love chipping down our resistance,
while we sit up late at night,
wondering if this will end all right,
you can't look them in the eye anymore,
because they're the type you wait for,
and you've messed up before,
but you want something more,
there's no greater love than what Jesus gives,
and for nothing else will i live,
Jesus has the number one place i my heart,
from finish to start,
but you can have number two,
because i love you




-jaye

paino lessons for snowfire by...some guy on youtube

P.O.D. 'will you love me tomorrow'

good song good message

-jaye

i dont wanna title it

ever wanted to talk about something on your blog,but you cant because someone you know might read it and you REALLY dont want them to?
yeah,haveing one of those moments..

-jaye

yez

i made a new song--->
see?
happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!1!11!1!1!!11111!11!1!`1




-jaye